ELECTION YAWN

I can’t stand watching the television just now because it’s all about the upcoming election, and everyone is picking on small, trivial, ridiculous garbage—like Albanese falling off the stage. Or not falling. Or maybe being elevated. Or not being elevated. Who knows?

I can’t tell, and he can’t tell, and he’s the one who even fell. Or didn’t fall. Or was somehow miraculously elevated. Who knows?

It’s all just so ridiculous now. Everyone has their different statistics, and it’s hard to tell which ones are which. And anyway, who knows?

So we listen to statistics and polls of parties, and they are all different. So who knows?

And then we listen to all of the promises spouted by both parties, and we wonder how they’re going to fund them. And again we have to ask ourselves: who knows?

I’m sure the money is only going to come from us, because there’s nowhere else for it to come from. But who knows?

Every channel has its own political slant, and you can’t tell which one is absolutely unbiased. In fact, none of them are. So, who knows?

I guess I’ll go to the polling station at the appointed time, and pick up one of the how-to-vote leaflets, and have all of the others shoved into my hand anyway. And I won’t have time to read them before I get to the polling station.

So. Who knows?

And I guess when it’s all done, I’ll sit down in front of my TV on the night of the count, and I’ll think to myself: Well…who knows?